Let's start by describing requited love, which is when your love is returned. This may be love you feel for another or love for yourself(self-love is a journey for many of us).
Unrequited love means that someone we love cannot, will not, doesn’t know how to, or does not feel the same way about you. In this situation, our love is unrequited.
If we bring this concept closer to home and apply this to ourselves, how is our love unrequited?
In what ways can we not, will not, or don't know how to love ourselves?
How many of us have longed for unattainable love, whether for a person or something? Perhaps we feel like something is missing or unfulfilled. What about when we have no control over a situation? Our journey and our work is to come to a place of requited love. It is a turning inward towards ourselves. It is not outside of us that we find the answers but when we quiet down, become still and listen from within.
" Our greatest gifts are right next to our deepest wounds."
-Michael Meade
What if we looked within to find that love?
If we could make room for the different parts of ourselves and allow all those parts to have a place within us without labeling them as good or bad, it would be our judge or critic who takes us away from ourselves. Yet we cannot exile the judge or the critic either since they are also a part of us. What if we opened ourselves to these parts and included them as well?
Radical inclusion is a practice of seeing and accepting the whole or all parts of ourselves. An awakening can only be experienced by turning inwards and experiencing what is in your own heart. Perhaps then, our love is requited. Radical inclusion is not only a practice of being present to whatever is occurring in our bodies, minds, and hearts, but it is also about witnessing and observing ourselves. Inviting joy and gratitude into the tiniest moments has the potential to bring requited love.
I find nature a great source of inspiration, a reminder for me to turn my gaze inward especially when I have turned away from myself. Mother Nature shows me signs all the time, and I have to tune in, be aware, and be awake to notice them. Recently a hummingbird kept hovering in front of my window, I had kind of noticed it but didn't pause to acknowledge it. After seeing it for the third day in a row I stopped and witnessed it, hummingbirds come to give us the message to lighten up, be more present and remind us to enjoy life.
"The most common form of despair is not being who you are"
-Kierkegaard
The key is to practice love for ourselves in this moment. We cannot think about how we will feel tomorrow or next year because the truth is that none of us knows what may occur. Yet in this moment, we can breathe in and experience how we are alive because our breath is moving through our bodies, and our bodies are working on keeping us alive and as healthy as possible.
Try this practice: Place your hand on your chest, feel the warmth from your skin under your hand, and recognize that under your skin is your heart. In this moment, we have the potential to fill it with air, love, compassion, and kindness. We can imagine it filling with pink, the color of nurturing love.
“Listen to people’s stories, and you’ll find that
They could all be entitled
“Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now”
The ego doesn't know that your only opportunity
For being at peace is now.”
-Eckhart Tolle
Eckhart Tolle teaches us about presence and the power of presence. He says that we can only truly ever
BE
here
NOW!
Using the natural gifts of touch and our breathing or breath work, we can cultivate a practice of BEING here NOW.
Try this meditation to help you cultivate a presence practice:
Breathe in deeply, and now breathe out. Notice the feeling you feel when your lungs fill with air and as you breathe out release all the air so that your stomach contracts. Continue with this deep even breathing and expand your stomach again. Now concentrate on inhaling the color pink and see it filling into your toes, ankles, legs, etc until it has filled into your entire body. Visualize and say this affirmation to yourself, “ I am love and the fabric of me is made with love, I am a part of the universal fabric of love”. Sit quietly with this thought, if your mind wanders bring it back to this thought through your breath. Sit this way for at least 5 minutes.
P.S. This is a great, quick meditation to do daily!
One of my favorite quotes is this one by Rumi;
“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi
Rumi was extraordinary, he understood that the deepest most satisfying love is the love we have the potential to experience within ourselves. Coming home to ourselves is requited love.
I hope that when you read this, you will understand how precious you are and that you are a vital part of the fabric of the universe.
The potential love that we have for ourselves is immeasurable and requited!
You are immeasurable!