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Is Your Self-Love Tank Running on Empty?

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

As I sat to write this article on self-love, a million stories filled my head.

There is so much to write about self-love. Then I remembered a story that I share often with others when I give talks and workshops on Color Therapy, I figured that now would be a good time to share it.

I hated the color pink, I would never wear it or use it in anyway. Everyone who knew me knew that I would never wear anything pink!

I had just begun my exploration and practice of Color Therapy and I kept being drawn to the color pink, I remember the argument within me, “But you hate pink! Why are you drawn to this color over and over again”?

As I worked with Color Therapy, I began to understand that pink meant loving myself unconditionally, without judgment. This was a tall order but I wanted to start somewhere so I began to do small, kind, and loving things for myself, beginning with affirmations.

The words and thoughts we use toward ourselves actually affect our physical bodies.

At that time I did not fully grasp the power of the universal laws. I now know that the law of vibration that “Everything is in perpetual motion, everything in the universe vibrates in circular patterns. Each thing has its own unique vibrational frequency. Higher vibrations transform lower vibrations. In the physical world our thoughts, feelings, desires and wills vibrate in the Etheric world. “

There is a great example of vibrational energy, displayed in Emoto’s water crystals. Masaru Emoto believed that the emotional vibrational frequency could change the molecular structure of water.

So the next time we use words towards ourselves and others, or share our thoughts and feelings be aware of what our bodies do with that vibration since our bodies are composed of 70% water.

I began adding pink into my life, beginning with pink earrings and then in time I added my first pink T shirt. Now I wear pink all the time! Using Color Therapy, affirmations and doing little things that are loving and kind towards myself helps me on my journey.

I first began practicing affirmations and looking at myself in the mirror using Louise Hay’s affirmations. The first few times I did this it was difficult. I laughed at myself and became critical of me but I persevered.

Now I look at myself in the mirror and find something beautiful about me to acknowledge. Here is an affirmation I still use; “ I love and accept myself as I am”

(Louise Hay has some great affirmation cards that I use. My children love them too and are always surprised at how they pick the exact card that they need.)

I found affirmations so helpful that I shared it with many of my clients and still do.

One client of mine who could not look at herself in the mirror and on the occasions that she did she only looked at her face because she had taped up the rest of her full length mirrors with cardboard.

We began doing mirror work and using affirmations and although it was a long while before she could peel of the top half, she eventually did. She used her affirmations to help her until she could finally pull of the bottom half and look at all of herself.

During this process, she found things to love about herself and then got to a point where she could look at all of her in the mirror and love who she was.

Self-love is when we make time for ourselves and do things that honor us. If we are constantly giving to others and not giving to ourselves, we might begin to resent others and our situations. It can also lead to poor health and low self-esteem.

Self-love is ideally when we love ourselves without criticism or judgment.

Truthfully, how many of us can say that we do that?

Our journey begins when we love ourselves as we are, for who we are, how our bodies are, and then we are practicing self-love.

Not long ago, a woman in her mid-forties came to see me. She was exhausted and felt overwhelmed.

I asked her what she did for herself. She said “ I take care of my children and make sure they have all that they need, I work and find that I am always the one people turn to at the office when they have problems and then I come home and take care of the household needs.”

She told me that her husband helped out with things around the house and yet she couldn’t understand why she was so overwhelmed and constantly exhausted.

I asked her what she did to nourish herself. She answered, “Well, between work, kids and the house, I don’t have time to add to what I do and take care of me.”

She saw taking care of herself as adding to her burden instead of it being nourishing. I asked her if she would drive her car on reserve or would she put gas in her car? She said, “Of course I would put gas in it otherwise I couldn’t get very far, right?”

I agreed and asked her why her self-love gas tank was empty when it came to herself. I told her that she was trying to do everything on a reserve tank, and recommended that she start with a “simple gas filling exercise”.

“Could you make 15 mins in the morning where you relax and sip your coffee, meditate or write in your journal? Something that nourishes you that does not involve taking care of anyone else?”, I asked her.

“Ask your husband to make breakfast for the kids so you can have the time to do this.” She agreed to do this and the next time I saw her she was on her way to feeling more loving and compassionate towards herself.

Here are some other ideas of simple “filling your gas tank” exercises:

– Relaxing in the evening with you feet up reading your favorite book with or without wine. – Soaking in a bathtub uninterrupted – Having a massage or a facial regularly – Joining a group that has similar interests as you – Planning an activity with some friends – Listening to your favorite music – Create a scrapbook honoring You!

When we have self compassion we can make time to honor and nurture ourselves without judgment.

What will you do today to nurture yourself?

I love this quote from the poem “As I began to love Myself”.

“ As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”. -Kim McMillen

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that it has you thinking about loving ways to honor you.

For more information on how Color Therapy works or to book an appointment, go to:

Originally written as a guest blog for :

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