Understanding Family Constellations: Everything & Everyone Belongs!

Family Constellations is a profound therapeutic approach founded by Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist whose work was deeply influenced by his time in South Africa. During his stay, Hellinger observed the Zulu people and their rich cultural traditions of looking to their ancestors for guidance and healing. He recognized the wisdom in these practices and integrated some of these insights with Gestalt therapy and other modalities to develop what we now know as Family Constellations.

At the heart of this work lies the idea that there is a natural order belonging to both the universe and family systems—a kind of universal blueprint. According to Hellinger, when this natural order is disrupted, the effects ripple through generations. These disruptions might stem from experiences like war, suicide, abortion, affairs, stillbirths, abuse, or famine. The result is what’s known in constellation work as entanglements—hidden dynamics where family members unconsciously carry the emotional burdens or unresolved issues of past generations.

The Orders of Love

Hellinger identified several fundamental principles that guide healthy family systems:

• Parents come first, and children come later. This sequence mirrors the natural cycles found in nature. Recognizing this order honors the flow of life.

• Parents give, and children receive. This exchange of life force and love, when intact, fosters balance and emotional well-being.

• Birth order matters. Each position in the family (first-born, middle child, youngest) carries significance and specific energetic roles within the system.

When these orders are disrupted, individuals may unconsciously take on roles or burdens that do not belong to them—such as identifying with a stillborn sibling or unknowingly inheriting the sadness of an ancestor who was excluded or unacknowledged.

Entanglements and Epigenetics

Modern research has begun to validate what ancient traditions and constellations have long suggested: our bodies and minds inherit more than DNA. The growing field of epigenetics shows that trauma—including emotional, environmental, or cultural trauma—can influence how our genes are expressed and passed down through generations. This can manifest as inherited patterns of depression, anxiety, chronic pain, or emotional blockages.

Family Constellations offers a therapeutic way to bring awareness and healing to these inherited dynamics. A space where we observe what is, without judgment—we uncover hidden truths and allow healing movements to unfold. This often involves acknowledging those who have been “left out” of the family story: the forgotten, the shamed, or those whose memory was suppressed. Giving them a place restores balance to the system.

The Field and the Work

Constellation work taps into what is referred to as the Field of Consciousness or the morphic field—a shared energetic space that holds the memories and patterns of our family systems. When we enter this field, whether in a group or one-on-one setting, we access a larger knowing that transcends the conscious mind. Representatives who stand in for family members often experience thoughts or emotions that reflect the lived experience of those they represent—offering insights into entanglements and pathways to healing.

How Healing Happens

Whether in a retreat, group workshop, or private session, Family Constellations offers a powerful space to:

• Recognize and release inherited patterns of trauma or imbalance.

• Restore order and flow within the family system.

• Acknowledge those who were excluded or forgotten.

• Free oneself and future generations from unconscious burdens.

As one understands the laws that underlie these hidden dynamics, healing becomes possible—not just for the individual, but for the entire lineage.

Family Constellation work invites us to step into a larger story, one where the past is not a burden, but a guide. It’s a journey of deep listening, recognition, and ultimately, liberation. Through this work, the forgotten are remembered, the unseen are acknowledged, and the heart finds its rightful place in the circle of life.

Interested in exploring more? You can join a retreat, book a private session, or deepen your journey through Family Constellation training. Every step taken toward healing your own lineage creates ripple effects of peace and balance for generations to come.