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What are Family Constellations?

This question is one I am asked so often, that I decided to write a blog to answer it.

We are born into families where we not only inherit biological genes and systems of beliefs but we act, pattern and react from our families too both consciously and unconsciously. Bert Hellinger says that as human beings we have 3 fundamental needs:

  • The need to belong so we may bond.

  • The need to maintain equilibrium by balancing giving and taking.

  • The need for order, predictability and safety of social conventions.

Bert Hellinger is the founder of family constellations, he combined amongst other therapies, Gestalt Therapy, body work and psychoanalysis. During his 16 years as a missionary in KwaZulu Natal (my home province) South Africa, he observed and learned from the Zulu people "the fundamental need for humans to align themselves with the forces of nature" (Love's Hidden Symmetry by Hellinger, Weber & Beaumont).

Why should you do a family constellation?

Family constellations brings an opportunity to deeply understand and heal patterns and beliefs that maybe inhibiting our own growth and happiness.

We maybe being limited in the expanse of our ability to experience :

  • Happiness

  • Freedom of choices

  • Success

  • Health

  • General well-being

  • Full extent of our relationships

  • Achieving our goals

It is important to remember that there is no blame, instead it is a method of differentiating our emotions from our ancestors so that there is autonomy in our emotional functioning.

" Blame becomes a meaningless concept if one understands how family history stretches back through generations. Recognition of this quickly dispels any disposition to see the parent as the villain"

- Gabor Mate

We are not always conscious of our patterns of behavior and we can easily get caught up in actions that we may later regret or sometimes simply do not understand.

"So if you have suffering in you and don't know where it comes from, looking deeply you may see that this is the suffering of your ancestors, handed down from one generation to another, because no one knew how to recognize, embrace and heal it. It's not your fault, nor is it their fault. "- Thich Nhat Hanh

It is from 9.30am to 4.30pm

During our workshop we will work as a group doing a number of constellations for the day. We will work with one persons need for a constellation at a time. The other members of the group act as representatives in the constellation, the entire process can be cathartic for all involved, including you if you are representing someone in the constellation even if it is not your constellation.

" Family constellations offer clients, representatives and observers equally the chance to learn about life and on a very deep experiential level" (Joy Manne - Family Constellations).

This workshop is open to men and women. Each constellation is understood with an overview of Color Therapy adding to the dimensions of it.

I would like to add this last quote that gave me so much to think about when I first read it...

"This body is not yours alone. It is also the body of your ancestors. Your body is a collective product of your nation, of your people, of your culture, of your ancestors. So you are not strictly an individual. You are partly collective."- Thich Nhat Hanh

To learn more about having a one on one family constellation session or to learn more about constellations then please contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.



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