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Unrequited Love!

Unrequited Love!

Huh, What does that mean?

Unrequited love is a love that you feel for someone who

  • cannot

  • will not

  • doesn’t know how to

  • does not love you back in the way that you want them to love you

I love this quote from the urban dictionary, “ It’s like drowning but you just won’t fucking die”

As much as this sounds painful, how many of us have felt this same longing for an unattainable love?

What about unrequited love for a love or for a friendship?

A parent, a sibling,

What about for ourselves?

What about when we have no control over a situation?

Here is a story of a client:

Sarah loved Peter, he liked her as his good friend but not in the same romantic way. Sarah told him how she felt, he told her that he liked her but not in the same way.

Sarah’s love is unrequited. When she came to me for therapy I thought of others that I had worked with and how best to work with her.

The lesson to learn is how do you take this intense love and turn it inwards towards yourself?

Part of Sarah’s journey with me was to help her learn to love and accept herself. We cannot force love where it is not felt or given freely.

What if we looked within to find that love for ourselves?

If we could accept ourselves in this moment then our love is requited.

The key to learning this lesson is to love yourself in this moment, we cannot think about how we will feel tomorrow or next year but in this moment we can feel love for ourselves.

This could lessen the impact of the hurt that you feel.

“Listen to people’s stories, and you’ll find that

They could all be entitled

“Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now”

The ego doesn't know that your only opportunity

For being at peace is now.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle writes it so beautifully!

I also advise my clients to sit in a simple meditation to help with what you are feeling.

Try this meditation:

Breathe in deeply, and now breathe out. Notice the feeling you feel when your lungs fill with air and as you breathe out release all the air so that your stomach becomes convex. Continue with this deep even breathing and concentrate on inhaling as much as you can and exhaling as much as you can. Now visualize and say this affirmation to yourself, “ I am a Being of love and I love me deeply right now”. Sit quietly with this thought, if your mind wanders bring it back to this thought through your breath. Sit this way for at least 5 minutes.

P.S. This is a great, quick meditation to do daily!

If you would like to book a session with me or learn more about the work I do around relationships, with yourself or others then email me at or look at my website:

One of my favorite quotes is this one by Rumi;

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi, The Illuminated Rumi

Rumi is extraordinary, he understood that the deepest most satisfying love is within you, within each of us.

In this moment as you read this, understand that you are precious and unique.

The love that you have for yourself is immeasurable and requited!

You are immeasurable!

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